You L O V E me !

How hard is it to say I love you.
How hard is it to say I love you too...

Unless, you don't really love me
Expressing love is one thing and just saying it is another

Telling the person you love how much you love them can be the greatest thing you could do to them. Everyone needs assurance once in a while.

Thank you " M E "

Caring and thinking for yourself is labelled as selfish ?
When was the last time you thanked yourself for anything?

Thanking yourself ...
for working hard
for the self motivation
for being there when there's no one else

Can't help it but ....most times...

Its only yourself that you can count and depend on =]

Your birthday

Today is your birthday!
Well, you may think you're special the fact that I remember your birth date
Well, the truth is, you "were" special before I left you, lols!
But your birthdate is just too nice, 11.11.XXXX.
Happy Birthday YOU!
And OMG, you're 37 this year!!!
Anyway, God bless you, your wife and your adorable kids ;)

December

Call me sentimental or anything such,
but december brings me back to my childhood.
My sister says I never grow up, yeah whatever :))

December brings me fond childhood memories,
the best memories so far :) (yeah, it beats falling in love!)

As a child, December is ...
being in a foreign land
Sleeping in hotels
Visiting theme parks
Visiting zoos
Eating ice-cream
Dinner at fancy restaurants or side walk cafes
Shopping in malls where Christmas is the theme,ya well its Christmas anyway! lols !
Lots of free teddies from shopping
The togetherness, filled with joy and laughter
The fights I had with my brother :P

I miss those happy happy times, nothing compares.
My dad made me a happy child, I can never thank him enough
One gift a child will remember a life time...
Happy childhood memories, can never be bought!
If given a chance, yes I want to be back there :)

"keep your words soft and sweet just in case you have to eat them."

"keep your words soft and sweet just in case you have to eat them"

I've chose the above as my quote for the day.

Never been a believer of saying things nicely. the normal me would just blurt out things the way suppose to be,i.e. harsh or soft or sweet.Never took the initiative to make it sound sweeter for sure !
So, my words would be what I want to say, sweet or bitter as long as its said.

Don't know what has gotten into me today, but making people around hear things softer/sweeter wouldn't hurt for a day :))

missed u, lots

Missed u much
Wished you could pay more attention
Wished you could be here more
Read more of my writing
yeah...its always more and more

I heart u :)

T A C T L E S S

Inconsiderate in dealing with anothers' feelings
Not handling in a proper manner
Was it ignorance ?
The lack of understanding?
Insensitivity towards others?

Sacked, fired, retrenched

This morning one of my bosses gave his final goodbye
He was in tears as he told us that he was resigning
Prejudged from his performance, we all knew he was sacked
I was reminded of a recent conversation he had with one of my close friends
Being the bread winner of her family (as she was married to an unemployed man) he asked her about respect and expectations from the family for being an unemployed husband. He was so worried about the respect he may lose from his wife :)
Im so sorry about him especially his children.

Sacked, fired, retrenched
Its just something thats so common lately
Its like every seat in the office is a hot seat
and...

I'm not ready for this, not yet
Its a shame that i have not reached that stage where
I could just walk out on this organisation
As much as this organisation needs me ... i think I need it more right now

*Sighs* for having to hear such news on a Monday morning.

Lost

Today started all cranky n moody like a nagging grandma *sighs*
Laziness surrounds n am having a crazy thought of disappearing tis weekend. Just leave, switch of my phone n shut everyone out.

Moving on

In a confused state of mind unable to think clearly most things jumbled up hence the misjudgment. Moving on just has to be one of the many which i have forced onto me but yet again its just a word which actions needed to be done. The initiative just isn't there without the willingness the mind body and soul just seems to miscommunicate. Counting on external persuasion which never seemed to be heard.
Its not about replacing the old with the new. Nor its about forgetting. Trying to unlike or hate.
Its about being able to accept how things are as of now, accepting the fact that its not the same anymore, accepting the changes. Being comfortable with the present. Respecting the decisions that has been made.
When a regret of what should and shouldnt have happened continues to haunt, more than often we're standing still, waiting, hoping for a change of mind, perhaps a second chance. As if being hurt once or twice wasnt enough and being pushed by the intense desire to continue owning what was once owned. Its like waiting for rejection for the 2nd time, a confirmed rejection. Its a 'no' with a slap on the face, which aftermaths to more hurt, depression maybe shame and losing pride but it was all worth while.
Moving on is getting over. Not merely getting over 'you' but 'us'.
Happily moved on I'd be when Im over "U" and over "US".

Like

Like
...is a fondness towards something, someone
Its at times overly used
Overrated too
Maybe underated as it could be a beginning of positive feelings
towards something or someone :-)
Which if felt intensely could turn to love
But like is LIKE as of now...
liking doesn't mean loving what you like
loving doesn't mean liking what you love
Lols !
what am I saying
as of now ...
i know that ...
i will not say I like you if i didn't mean it
Plain and simple as that.

...

Too long...
Too late..
Who was i to make u wait...
Just 1 chance...
Just in case theres just 1 left..
I love u..
I missed u..
Been faraway for too long...
I keep dreaming that u'll be with me n u'll never go
Hold on to me,
Never let me go.

Everyday

Everyday is an unending continuation of the day before
with short little dreamlike breaks for recharging
only to pick up where we left off
unvarying unchanging zombies
trudging along thoughts
filled with a long string of words and emotions
brought forward from hundreds of days ago
a tiny degree added onto each chapter
uncertain about the tiny disturbance nudging at the back of our heads
a vague feeling that it is not life
but merely a doing
a shadow of what life could be
a distraction ignored as logic takes over that the doing is a necessity
where necessity overtakes wants and desires
as it should be or so they are told it should be
until one day one will come and say that ...
life should not be done but lived.

one of those long and pretty nites :-)

Maafkan aku

Maafkan aku.
Semoga kesungguhanmu bisa membuka hati ini.

Gudnite

Feeling so weak, she lies on her warm cosy bed
So helplessly weak, almost frail
Closing her eyes, she forces herself to sleep

Praying to be granted a sleep thats deep
Hoping to wake up a self thats fresh
Eyes that shines
A pale skin turned rosy again
The body frail no more
She hopes for nothing more
But to be herself once again

Thinking of you...

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed...

You said move on, Where do I go ?
I guess second best ...
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you...

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of a winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best...


Im so loving this song ...
Love the lyrics...so loving it :)

My lucky nite

I really had fun tonite
The music was great
The food so lavishingly good...
Hmm, the keyboardist was irritating cos he was staring at me the whole nite
Despite it, i had a really gud time...
Ive never had luck @ lucky draws n tis was my 1st time...
So lucky to get a nites stay @ a 7 star hotel n resort... For 2 :p
Just what i needed, a relaxing break
Kinda sleepy...havent been out tis late for quite a long time
Overall, im happy tonite :-)

What's in her head...

Tomorrows' April...
Counting the days...
Maybe im not meant to be happy
Maybe im meant to make people happy
Well atleast someone's happy
When ...
loving but not having...
Having but not loving...
I was told to...give a chance for someone to love me... even when I can't love them back
Afterall life's temporary and is too short to be searching and waiting...
Today I was also reminded that...
What can't be seen doesn't mean it doesn't exist ...

Nothing important ...just grumpy !

Woke up to one of those grumpy days !
Ighhhhhhh !!!!
A black cloud must be up there ...following me.
Feel so agitated and everything just seem to iritate me !
Hope the day passes and ends fast
One thing for sure, my doctor needs to get SCREWED!
I just lost it with him !

Yet another quote :)

When you have the choice between being right and being kind just choose kind. ~ Wayne Dyer

IM GONNA HAVE TO LAUGH ON THIS ! LOLS! xD

Goodbye

I guess I'm gonna have to cry and
let go of some of the things I love
to get to the other side...
Its sad but sometimes moving on
with the rest of your life
starts with goodbye

Birdy POOP

Unsure of what it brings ...

But a bird sure did poo on my head !

What ever it means...

Sure hope its something positive...

So far for sure, it pooed on my scarf not my hair

Thank God I had my scarf on *phewww*

Think of it in a way... its not easy to get pooed on ...

even if you stand on the street for years :P

So... I must be lucky then

To be pooed on after living for 25 years :)

All the things he said....

All the things he said...
All the things he said...

Running thru my head....
Running thru my head....

All the things he said...

Song, inspired by TATU
Singing out of sleepiness...on a Monday with a whole lot of workload *yess!**

Contemplating

Things just seem to flow nicely...
Issues resolved without having to be decided with
All just seem to give way to my plans
Is it just a coincidence ?
I think its fated...
Cos it made my move seem right that its not an option anymore
Im enthusiastic and excited...
But am also sad and at times contemplating..
Hope things would start well :-)

Anticipating good news tomorrow

Can't wait for tomorrow...
Hope to hear something positive
It'd be a new start for me
Something I've been waiting for quite sometime now

Let's just anticipate positive and good news coming tomorrow :)

'U always need an assurance, don't U?'

'U always need an assurance,don't u?' this question caught my attention. Little did i realise this has always been 'me'. I started recollecting on my past experiences and one really good example was a ring which was engraved ...'his name' loves me. Ofcourse, it was my idea, i thought its kinda sweet and not ordinary with just names and dates. I wanted something more meaningful. We both agreed to it anyway.
So, whenever i had the chance to look at the ring n read the engravement, i'd smile- full of assurance...
So, the answer to the question is YES.

Blessed

So happy to receive well wishes ...

It really put a smile on my face and I felt so blessed ...

There are people who cares and take their time to do little things ..

Little things which means BIG to me

Time to really acknowledge and realise all these

and bring happiness to others in return

Start spreading love around...

My dream

I dreamt quite a few lastnite,
it felt like a thousand dreams
But its the nigthmare that i remember
yes, I can remember only one clearly
That was you...
I dreamt of you
I came to you,
But you left me
My sharp, round,
inquisitive brown eyes all puffed up
and swollen today...
You left me,
Not uttering
not a word to me ....

taking a closer look

Everything looks perfect from far away,
Coming down now, to take a closer look

When what seems wrong is right

The wrong thing is actually the right thing to do when everything right goes wrong and everything wrong seems right.

LIES

When everyone tells the same lie, the lie automatically becomes a truth

Heartless

I'm left with nothing
All that I've hoped for shattered
All that I've believed in were nothing but lies
All that I thought as you .... was actually somebody else...
All that I thought was mine .... was actually shared with others

My heart was yours to keep, you kept it well enough,
well enough so that its yours and only yours alone...
The heart that only you could touch
The heart that only you could hurt
This heart kept away from others ...
is a lonely one ...
Till its last beat ... only yours

U know who U are

I miss u too . . .

Light headedness

I luv this feeling of "light-headedness"
All that heavyness gone already
My whole head feels so light
Maybe its just an 'all in the mind' thingy
But it certainly is giving me a good feeling
And looks good too
I'm glad I did it

This is just perfect

Relaku menunggu mu,
Seribu tahun lama lagi,
Tapi benarkah hidupku,
Kan selama ini?

I need to get on with life.The problem is, I don’t know what normal is anymore. And I don’t think I want normal. I want so much more.

I want to fly but some things are weighing me down. I hope they could just let me go, so I may fly free, and uninhibited.

A reminder for myself

Bila Allah cepat memakbulkan doamu, maka Dia menyayangimu,
Bila Dia lambat memakbulkan doamu, maka Dia ingin mengujimu
Bila Dia tidak memakbulkan doamu, maka Dia merancang sesuatu yang lebih baik untukmu
Oleh itu, sentiasalah bersangka baik pada Allah dalam apa jua keadaan pun ...
Kerana kasih sayang Allah itu mendahului kemurkaannya.

when not knowing is best .....

Some things are better left unknown

better left unsaid

better left unexplained

better left alone

better left in the dark

B L E A K

B L E A K

definition,

offering little or no hope; "the future looked black"; "prospects were bleak";

bare: providing no shelter or sustenance;

unpleasantly cold and damp;

Showing or suggesting a deep sadness or grim depression. Referring to mourning and death.

Sadis

Terlalu Sadis Caramu
Menjadikan Diriku Pelampiasan Cintamu
Agar Dia Kembali Padamu
Tanpa Perduli Sakitnya Aku

Tega Nian Nya Caramu
Menyingkirkan Diriku Dari Percintaan Ini
Agar Dia Kembali Padamu
Tanpa Perduli Sakitnya Aku

Semoga Tuhan Membalas
Semua Yang Terjadi Kepadaku
Suatu Saat Nanti
Hingga Kau Sadari Sesungguhnya
Yang Kau Punya Hanya Aku
Tempatmu Kembali
Sebagai Cintamu...

Hanya Aku Tempat Mu Kembali

Pureness

Pureness of the heart
where are you ?
Have you been burried deep
are you waiting to be discovered ?
It seems that you're not here
I'm longing for the pureness of heart ...

The 'right thing'

The right thing to do
Maybe something right ...
Can be something wrong

So, wat is it?
Will we ever know ?

I don't know whats right and whats real anymore
I don't know how i'm meant to feel anymore
When we think it will all become clear
Cos i'm being taken over by the fear

what im reading ...

I just started reading a book which shares about 'the mind' ...
Im not even half way thru ...and im really enjoying this book which shares at the beginning, about communication. Its written like so ...

Words are among the most dangerous powers a person can wield.
When what you hear is not what the other person is trying to say and conversely, when what you want to say is not what the other person is hearing—a conversation can quickly turn into a confrontation.
The best precautions are first, not to take the words we hear literally, and second, not to trust your own interpretation of others' statements. If you are in a bad mood and looking for trouble, you may interpret a comment negatively, whereas if you are in a peaceful state of mind, your interpretation may be the opposite, resulting in an altogether different conversation.

You cannot enter into anyone else's mind and know exactly how they are thinking at at the moment, nor can you expect anyone else to know what is going on in the maze of your mind. You alone are responsible for your reactions to the words of others.

Many arguments erupt because we interpret words according to what they mean to us rather than to the speaker. Understanding that words are nothing more than concepts with a meaning understood individually and notnecessarily identically by everyone, your perspective will quickly expand. You will discover that words are only the beginning—a means of opening the mind to receive a thought. To bring this expanded perspective to the messages you convey, imagine that every word has a hundred meanings. Accepting that your words have different meanings to different people will greatly improve your ability to communicate without conflict because that concept will force you to choose your words carefully. Conversely, remember that when you listen, you have that many meanings combined with the same amount from the speaker. The potential for misunderstanding is infinite. It is only by chance that we can communicate effectively.

Problems can arise when you make the false assumption that since we speak the same language, all words have the same meaning to each of us. Illusions like this are the cause of conflicts. Objective acceptance that things are not as clear as they appear and that the rest of the world does not necessarily think the same way you do will solve many problems before they begin.

And so .. i think its a good book and its actually the right time :)

Memilikinya...

Saya memiliki cintanya
Saya memiliki hatinya
Saya juga memiliki tubuhnya
tapi ...
tidak memiliki jalan hidupnya

Mimpi...

Manusia mempunyai mimpi
ada yang mengejar dan mewujudkannya
ada yang mundur dan membuangnya
dan ada yang diam dan menunggu sepanjang sisa hidupnya

dan aku ....

Theres a limit ..

Theres a limit to patience
..to tolerance...
Nobody deserves to be ill-treated
Again n over again its the people that we love that mistreats us
Abuse our feelings, making us feel so worthless
...and...why do we have to tolerate them?
They demand our understanding..but do they understand us?
How is anything ever going to happen without communication? One has to start talking n the other to listen.
When silence overtakes, everything seems bleak and its surely beyond wat can be tolerated.

On a break

Its...
Saying, i need to move on alone
I need some space
A phase of breaking up...slowly..
Just a nice way of saying break up

She loves the rain

Walking out of the rain
emerging from the water
she loves the rain so much
and it seems that her lovely rain
is going to take her away...

When she's gone ...
she'll be remembered for how she really loved the rain...

..and when it rains...you'll smile...
as it reminds you of her

I miss the sun

After days and days of pouring rain
Which i think has account for gloomy days for some
Finally its a sunny day
Rain or shine,
moods should not be affected by the weather

Almost perfect

Half size bigger would be just nice

A size smaller should be nicer

An inch longer would be perfect

A bit shorter is 'it'

Slightly darker would be better

A little bit hotter would be perfect

A shade lighter... ?

A lil longer ?

Earlier ?

Later is better ?

Its just never perfect but ...

ANNOYINGLY ALMOST OR CLOSE TO PERFECTION

However...it ends like so...

Oh well.. Lets just settle for this

"less than perfect thingy"

but why?

..we haven't enough time..

..nothing is perfect

..we have no other choice

..its affordable and within budget

..desperately needed

..because..it free